In which I contemplate writing my memoirs.
How reliable is memory? When I was young, I assumed that my vivid memories of specific events were accurate. But I have always had a vivid imagination, too, and perhaps some of my memories have been embroidered. Apparently, eye witnesses in legal issues are often unreliable. And I’ve read some discussions that liken memories to computer files. Every time you access a “memory Word doc,” you can inadvertently edit it, and the new version becomes the saved one.
I vividly remember, at age two and a half, hiding in my secret green “cave” under a bush in our yard, gleefully laughing as my very pregnant mother waddled around calling for me in worry. (This was only the first of my shenanigans that would cost her gray hairs.) Research suggests that toddlers have strong memories, but due to language acquisition processes, most of those early memories are lost at around four years. I believe in that memory from two and a half, but is it only because my mother would later repeat the funny story to family and friends? Did she create a new “memory file” for me?
And don’t I look like the perfect little angel?
I’ve been pondering these memory questions as I think about finally writing my memoirs that Thor and others have been urging me to do for years. I might call it “Born to be Wild,” as from my earliest years I have pursued adventures and have the memories, photos, and scars to show for it. Raised as one of four daughters that our military veteran/hunter macho father called his “boys,” I could beat the neighborhood boys at rope climbing, fishing, and wood chopping, and relished our wilderness outings and camping road trips to explore the Western States and Canada. In high school, I played hooky from a school outing to hitchhike to California so I could send postcards home to friends from Weed. As a supposed adult, I pursued a range of experiences (I considered them a sort of writer’s apprenticeship) including operating a nuclear reactor at Hanford, working as a scuba divemaster off various Caribbean islands, backpacking in the U.S. wilderness as well as extended treks in South America, Greece, and New Zealand, and owning a farm on a remote Southern Chilean island.
Hanford FFTF Reactor, probably winter 1976
The oxen team I got to lead to haul gravel to the house I was building on a southern Chilean island.
Now I’ve more or less settled down with my hero-husband Thor, back in my native “far corner” of the Pacific Northwest, where my great-grandparents arrived from Germany to start one of the first bakeries in the area. I’m in my seventies now, and due to health issues, it may be now or never to get the job done. (I guess for most of us at this age, it’s true: “And at my back I always hear Time’s winged chariot hurrying near.”) Fiction has always been my thing, though my novels have borrowed often from my life experiences, so writing memoir is something new for me. Any advice is welcome!
One thing I have learned is that I will need to tread lightly in avoiding the truth about a few truly nasty people who have played their parts. Apparently, memoir writers are at risk for libel suits for writing the truth about people who are still alive. So maybe the best justice for those people is to simply write them out of existence and turn them into “black holes” in my universe? Again, anyone with experience in this genre is welcome to weigh in.
My earlier blog posts have focused on many of my travel adventures, including my “mature travels” and mountain hiking with Thor, but these days those activities aren’t happening much, so I’ll probably post some of my memoir episodes here as the project unfolds. Again, feedback is welcome. Onward!
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You will find The Rambling Writer’s blog posts here every Saturday. Sara’s latest novel from Book View Café is Pause, a First Place winner of the Chanticleer Somerset Award and an International Pulpwood Queens Book Club selection. “A must-read novel about friendship, love, and killer hot flashes.” (Mindy Klasky). It’s also a love letter to the stunning beauty of her native Pacific Northwest wild places. Sign up for her quarterly email newsletter at www.sarastamey.com
